Vauxhall roundabout has such a complicated and unwieldy bike lane around it, it's enough to glaze anyone's eyes over. So maybe it's appropriate that it should be blocked by a van delivering tiles.

This is Cromer St, on the bike route just south of Kings Cross station. Jagged flagstones on the path are there to stop motorbikes using the cycle path, while a parked car is usually there to stop cyclists using it. Yet again, the number plate is surprisingly appropriate.

The Wandle Trail - National Cycle Route 20, running from Wandsworth on the River Thames in south London down to Carshalton - runs alongside the River Wandle for most of its length. Along the way, you can stop and admire traditional local sights, such as Merton Abbey Mills, and white vans blocking the cycle path.

Islington cycle lane blocked by mobile satellite dish. Well, if cyclists riot, at least there'll be a news team right on call to beam it live to the world.

Eh, boss. What is problem? Why you take picture? No my car. You police? You take my number? Is no my car. Eh boss. [makes gesture of rubbing fingers on thumb as if to suggest money]. No problem eh.

What? You no police? FAK YOU! FAK YOU!

Hang on, who's at fault here on the Elephant and Castle cycle-by-pass? The council, for not painting double-yellows all the way to the end of this section? Or the car driver, for being a twat?

Not far from the Bloody Tower, this bloody white van driver blocking the bloody contraflow bike lane.

The Waterlink Way, just south of Lewisham, lets you get close to all sorts of primitive creatures and pondlife.

So, what emergency forced this chap to block the bike lane on Baylis Rd, near Waterloo? Yup: he'd lost his way and was gawping at the map like it was Linear B or something. Don't worry, I told him where to go.

As if one car blocking the lane waiting for a takeaway wasn't enough, well, as I'm taking the picture, along comes another. Blimey, this place must be good. Spring Orchid, it's called, if you're interested. Amazingly enough, this one's number plate is appropriate too.

Car stopped to pick up a takeaway, blocking the bike lane in Baylis Rd, just up from Waterloo station. They must have been waiting for the beansprouts to grow because they were in there ages. Actually the number plate wasn't what it says here. It was a vanity, look-at-me-aren't-I-clever plate, though. But it should have been what it says here.

Outside that same posh hotel in Upper Ground, just south of the river near Blackfriars Bridge, only a different cab. Oh no! First the carpet tacks, now the broken glass I was taking to the recycling point just slipped through my fingers...

Outside that posh hotel in Upper Ground, just south of the river near Blackfriars Bridge. Cabs do this all the time and it's annoying as well as dangerous. Damn, what happened to those carpet tacks I had in my hand? I must have accidentally dropped them while swerving to avoid him.

Terrible piece of parking here in on the Apollo 15 mission in 1971. Even though there is plenty of space available here in Mare Imbrium, the driver David Scott has chosen to park right across a lane, forcing cyclists into a difficult detour round Hadley Rille.

Call the police! There's a car blocking this bike lane...!

Oh... it IS the police.

This taxi driver on Waterloo Bridge is being very helpful to his passenger, a tourist who wanted to take a picture of the splendid view. So helpful that he's stopped on double yellow lines, blocking the bike lane!